THE SNOWBLOWER IS DYING
How I went about acknowledging the tell-tale signs that it’s time to move on.
We’ve had a winter here in KC that has been constant — constantly snowing. And worse yet, constantly snowing on the weekend. Which sucks.
It’s not that I hate snow. When we lived in Utah, snow meant skiing and snowshoe hikes up through the canyons. You literally could not wait for it to snow. However, snow in Kansas City means falling tree limbs and impassable streets and NOTHING TO DO! You can only go sledding so many times. You can snowshoe across open pastures and through some very unchallenging park trails. Yes, we have a ski area, and by the time the “uh” sound leaves your lips from shouting “Cowabunga!” you’re at the bottom.
So there’s some of the obvious shit. However, here is what got me thinking, “How do we know it’s time to move on?”
My snowblower is dying. My father in law found this snowblower at an auction at the lake where they live, on the cheap. It never snows there, so it was in fantastic condition when he bought it for us… in 1995. Yeah, a long time ago, and it has performed with minor issues upon each snowfall. The kids aptly named it “Snowy McSnowblower.” We’ve had to apply some band-aids along the way, but for the most part, it’s held up amazingly well. However, this year it’s become a bit jinky. And I can tell there are some expensive “surgical” repairs on the horizon.
So as I stood there looking at it after listening to it huff and puff and struggle through the latest 5” of snow, the symbolism of that struggle and the years of grinding to perform its duties left me to wonder. “What is it that keeps “us” grinding?” Crunching, grading, and scraping through another “snow” we don’t like?
Precisely, in my case, why do my wife and I still grind away at a pace of living that no longer serves us? There are no days or nights of “what if?” moments eating at us, more so these “why not?” moments occur — explicitly dealing with conversations about where we want to be and what we desire to be doing with our time, money, lives. So my point isn’t what we don’t have. It is more about what we aren’t doing with what we do have. It has to do with what our intuition is telling us. And in a metaphoric sense, it’s saying the snowblower… is dying.
“It’s time to move on, time to get going
What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing
It’s time to move on; it’s time to get going.”
~ Tom Petty
It seems upon my reflection that we stand for too long in one place. We can concede to living life, accepting what it gives us instead of creating what we desire. The lack of awareness of our feelings to keep moving, and growing, establishes a trend. A trend that reveals a pattern of familiarity. One that can easily lead to us burrowing ourselves into a rut. This realization that we are performing motions that don’t carry much meaning anymore speaks loudly to us.
And we respond to them in the fashion of a lemming heading towards a cliff.
Moreover, we are numb to how redundant they are or what these motions genuinely mean.
Ok then.
So now I’ve got Tony singing “Somewhere” from West Side Story in my head. Like all the time. I know why, but I’ll nevertheless tangent off to some explanation that everybody wishes they could be somewhere other than where they are, right?
No, not really. Let’s face it; I started to notice the signs well in advance of the snow blower’s demise. To be clear, the natural way my fingers want to move about the keyboard while typing this is to insert the word “discontent” here. However, while that would flow freely with the theme of winter… and it’s not what I’m on about.
The signs I’m referring to are more about curiosity and the voice of our intuition. They’re about being inquisitive and how those thoughts and feelings present the initiative, the narrative, to make a shift. So, I’ll call it — heightened awareness. When we look at what opportunities lie ahead and thus choose to deviate in the way we choose to resonate, we will usually look for the challenge first. That’s a natural human instinct, and it can become a crutch.
“HOW DO I TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REAL INTUITIVE ANSWERS FROM MY HIGHER SELF VERSUS ONES FROM FEAR AND EGO? WHICH VOICE DO I LISTEN TO?” ~ Heather Alice Shea
You see, we begin to interpret this crutch to be, well, justified. And thus assuming that you’re asking more than you are capable of in making a life shift. Alternatively, you refuse to acknowledge that your existence in a given moment is not serving what you desire.
So, let’s go back to the signs that prompt us to discover and move on. As well as those that say, “What’s the point?” It is essential to understand where the voice speaking to you that is saying “move on” comes from.
There is an energy associated with your inner voices. Rather than using judgmental comparisons like good, bad, right or wrong, I’m going with the scientific approach. When speaking to our unique energy, as a coach, I describe it in two forms. They are your Catabolic energy and Anabolic energy. I use these words in a relative state of dealing with any moment. Usually a stressful one, so any associations you made directly to steroids, uh, no.
Catabolic is your magnetic, high intensity, fight, flight, or escape type energy. It primarily serves you when coming to deal with heavy shit (my words). Not unlike a fireperson running through a burning building. Or running from a Grizzly Bear.
Anabolic is your growing, nurturing, repairing energy, and building energy, one that promotes awareness, discovery, and change.
Cool? Ok then.
Your inner voices roll one of two ways. Intuitively or through your ego. The question then is what the difference between the two is? The ego mostly resonates in a way that tells you to run like hell, stomp on the brakes, or go into the corner and shut the f*ck up. If that is your predominant feeling or emotion, you must consider the stress accompanying what your ego voice is saying to you.
When our intuitive voice speaks, it seems whole. We say it’s the voice that comes from the heart. I’ll lean in the direction that it happens more from your soul. Others who delve much deeper into it than I will say it is the voice of your spirit. It presents itself in a way that feels unhindered, transparent, and clear.
Again, there is no right or wrong here. Remember, catabolic energy can save lives. But if you find through a series of repetitive conversations, you’re the person running through burning buildings all the time, it’s not healthy. It is indicative of living with high levels of stress in your life. Your ego is aiding and abetting in these moments and not because it hates you. It wants to protect you. It does not want you to go places where it believes you’ll fail or fall. If you continue to choose to listen to everything it says, protect you, it will like a bird in a cage protection. You can still sing, but you’re not flying anywhere anytime soon. And your capacity to grow will suffer.
So, we can choose to be more anabolic in our choices and listen to the inner voice that serves to open us up to opportunity. This voice is the voice of initiative, and it prompts our intention to take steps that create experience and growth.
I’m going to use the adage “everything in moderation” here even though I don’t see it as a standard for all things life. In this case, though, you want to check yourself. Attempts to just go all inner voice surely won’t ever tell you, “What the f*ck are you thinking? Jesus Christ, you dumb*ss!” But if left to be the collective voice, you can become biased into thinking that you have all the answers to the test. And as I tell my clients, our growth opportunities are diminished in the same fashion as the ego emits’ it shade.
That said, the catabolic voice in small, short doses, can bring about straightforward action. It is capable of initiating accountability in the form of that kick in the ass we all need from time to time. Of course, if that prevails invariably, your ass is going to get sore, and you will feel worthless.
Now, about that, snowblower. While I used it as an illustrative example of what prompts us to consider a change, this much I know; it provided for what was an appropriate message for my wife and me. So perhaps it would best serve “Snowy” if we should stop by the lake on our way to our new life shift and opportunity. We’ll leave him in the shade of an old oak tree enjoying warm breezes and released from any thoughts of snow.
Sometimes the opportunity for change can be put in a stranglehold by our inability to decipher the message our inner voice shares with us. Moreover, our ability to listen to it is why it is essential to be very conscious of how that message is delivered and its purpose. Not unlike the huff and puff of that beautiful old machine.
